Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:15, NIV
This week we tackled the topic of how to have that difficult conversation with someone. Following our previous discussions from James to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to be angry and Paul's statement to only speak words that build others, we now turn to building intimacy through our challenging conversations.
We have all experienced a difficult conversation that both resolved an issue with someone and had the blessing of growing closer. We have also all experienced when a conversation goes poorly. Our goal is to glorify the Lord by loving, building, and blessing others in every conversation.
The first step to "speaking the truth in love" is to actually not speak to the person...yet. When we have to address something with someone, we must first take it to the Lord and ask for guidance by the Holy Spirit. Without prayer, our emotions can get the best of us. Instead, you may hear from the Lord something unexpected. Here are a few "words" you may encounter.
First, the Lord may say, "Commit this to me and keep on persevering in prayer because I am working." When people hear from the Lord, it tends to solidify change more quickly. The motive is not to please you, but Jesus.
Second, the Lord may give you the heart of love "you need" in order to speak in a way that is not angry, and that will build those we are speaking with.
Third, the Lord may give you the strategy or key to the heart that you need in order to bring about the change that is expected. There are scriptures the Lord will bring to your mind that will guide you in the path.
Prayer is the first step to all conflict resolution for a Christian. It is directed at both parties. First to us and then to the other. We must humbly approach the Lord God as a minister of grace to those we are confronting in the hopes that they will hear the Lord God's heart for them. Speak the truth in love, but also speak the love in truth.
Love, Pastor Stuart