Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.
Ephesians 4:15, NIV

A part of our speaking the truth in love is bringing our unspoken expectations into the light. We live in a world of expectations. We have expectations of how others will behave, how they will treat you or others, how they will show their love, etc. We have expectations of ourselves and sometimes we live under the expectations of our parents or even the Lord God. Many of these expectations need to be brought into the light to keep tension, misunderstanding, and relational intimacy from becoming an issue.

What we went over this past weekend was the fact that when we get agitated or angry at others it is often because we have an expectation that is not being fulfilled. However, instead of bringing it to the light and communicating, we often stuff it, hope they will see it is bothering us, or complain that they should just "know better."

None of these is a biblical strategy. "Instead, speaking the truth in love..." is at the heart of bringing things to the light.

The first step is becoming aware of what we are becoming resentful about.
The second step is asking ourselves if this is a reasonable request.
The third step is simply bringing it into the light by speaking about it.
The last step is coming to an agreement about it.

It is unspoken expectations that Satan uses to divide relationships. He wants us to hide in them and hope that things will change instead of bringing them to the forefront. A simple, "I have been anxious, resentful, angry, or bothered by something, can we talk about it" opens the way.

Don't let your unspoken expectations of your partner, children, co-workers, or friends keep you from going deeper in your relationships with them. It is loving to express your heart and they can love you back by serving your needs.

Love, Pastor Stuart