And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.
Ephesians 4:30, NIV
In Paul's discussion of great communication, he puts this verse in the middle. Let's take a quick look at the "communication sandwich" again.
"Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you."
While "grieving the Holy Spirit" is often referred to as being related to personal sin, this verse is clearly here to remind us that the Lord God is grieved when we speak to others with hurtful words. To make our discussion simplified, we are called not only to live like Jesus, but "speak" like Jesus. This means our words are meant to be loving and healing and holy.
To emphasize this, Paul reminds us that the Holy Spirit hears our conversations and is wanting to help us be like Jesus in them. When we find ourselves speaking from the natural man (the flesh), we degrade the incredible worth of others. So how do we do this, especially in conflictual situations?
First, we must continue to slow our lives down. We cannot hear the Holy Spirit speak to us when we are rushing. In fact, when we are engaged in charged conversations, that is the time to pause, pray, and think about how we can be a blessing to those we are speaking to.
Next, we must tune in to the "emotion" of the Holy Spirit so to speak. When the Holy Spirit is grieved, He tells us through conviction. We have all experienced this when we walk away from a conversation and tell ourselves, "I wish I hadn't said that." This is the training and discipleship of the Holy Spirit. He will teach us how to be a blessing.
Lastly, we must understand the concept of being "sealed for the day of redemption." Our salvation is a process. We "are" saved. We "are being" saved and we are "going to be saved/redeemed." We are in the process of becoming transformed into the image of Christ. The reason this is important to know is that we are graced to have the end "sealed" at the beginning. When you mess up in your words and actions, the Lord God is not finished with you. Instead, He sends His Holy Spirit to come alongside you, to challenge you, and to comfort you.
Our words are powerful to build or to tear down, to bless or to hurt. Let's invite the Holy Spirit to have His way in our hearts and minds to speak like Jesus to those around us.
Love, Pastor Stuart